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Superclișee diluzionale culturale: Vocația Suferinței

Superclișee diluzionale culturale: Vocația Suferinței

bogdan-brumă-2023
Vocatia Suferintei_Bogdan Bruma3

Iar femeii i-a zis: „Voi înmulţi mereu necazurile tale, mai ales în vremea sarcinii tale; în dureri vei naşte copii; atrasă vei fi către bărbatul tău şi el te va stăpâni”. (Facerea, 3:16)

Ileana, ca orice om, declara și aparent făcea eforturi pentru a fi fericită. Dar în mod real se afunda tot mai mult într-o relație falsă, mentală care îi aducea orice altceva decât bucurie și fericire, așa cum se întâmplă cu majoritatea relațiilor umane. Când a avut posibilitatea oferită întâmplător de viață, de a fi fericită, trebuind doar să accepte intrarea într-o nouă relație și închiderea celei vechi, în mod evident nesatisfăcătoare, a început să facă ”figuri” și să emită ”pretenții” și să facă cam tot ce îi stătea în putință ca să își ruineze șansele de a se întâmpla ceea ce își dorea atât de mult cu o parte autentică a Ființei sale. Aceasta mă duce cu gândul la ideea că deși declarativ și real omul își dorește fericirea și o poate obține în această Lume, în mod concret face cam tot ceea ce poate să își asigure nefericirea, care în mod evident îi hrănește o anumită parte din el, care îi generează un fel de ”plăcere perversă”, și pe care o putem eticheta drept un soi de tragism de prost gust, o auto-compătimire, auto-generată, bazată pe lipsa asumării și a autenticității  din viețile noastre. Se pare că într-un fel ne dorim mai mult să ne plângem că ne-am ratat șansa la fericire decât să luptăm pentru aceasta cu tot ce ne stă în putință și care în mod cert există în structurile noastre. Este posibil ca acest lucru să fie mai evident la femei decât la bărbați dar cu certitudine îi caracterizează pe amândoi, fără deosebire. Dacă am numi această tendință ”vocația suferinței” nu cred că am greși prea mult.

–             Și de ce crezi că oamenii nu se pot împotrivi acestei tendințe? Sau crezi că nu au posibilitatea de a o conștientiza și elimina din viețile lor?

–             În momentul de față nu cred că am suficiente informații pentru a mă putea pronunța asupra acestor aspecte, dar în mod sigur viața și lumea aceasta îmi pot furniza elementele necesare înțelegerii intime a acestor mecanisme care afectează umanitatea în ansamblu și o condamnă la o suferință inutilă, mai ales într-o lume care, teoretic, poate asigura prezența bucuriei și fericirii.

–             Ce idee am mai putea extrage din această întreagă situație prezentată în a treia poveste? întrebă bătrâna care intrase tăcută și asistase atentă la ultimele schimburi de cuvinte dintre noi.

–             Ca un element suplimentar cred că am putea observa, ca și în povestea anterioară, circularitatea destinelor diferitelor generații. Și în acest caz Ileana, deși decisă să aibă un alt tip de relație, pe care simțea că o merită pe deplin, complet diferită de cea a părinților săi, care să fie caracterizată de o realitate a sentimentelor și de iubire, care să îi aducă bucurie și împlinire, prin modul în care a integrat principiile și valorile generațiilor anterioare,  ale părinților săi și ale mediului în care s-a format, care în mod evident intrau în contradicție cu convingerile sale personale, ce izvorau din propria sa percepție, gândire și interpretare a realității, a ales ca punct de plecare în această primă și unică relație posibilă și admisibilă, ca și mama sa, un om slab și aparent controlabil, care să nu îi pună probleme, fiind în mod evident sub valoarea ei, nefăcând prin aceasta decât să repete destinul părinților săi eșuați într-o relație ”clasică” de co-dependență. Deși era conștientă la un anumit nivel că o relație de iubire nu ar fi putut pleca decât dintr-o atracție reală și nicidecum din milă, și că nu poate fi ”ajustată” pe parcurs, ca să ”cadă” în principiile teoretice dar totuși simțite și intuite la nivelul Ființei sale, a ales să ignore toate aceste impulsuri-ființă interioare și să precumpănească nevoia de control acolo unde, prin definiție, autenticitatea este dată de absența completă a garanțiilor și a controlului, totul putându-se doar naște spontan și natural în atracția reciprocă resimțită instantaneu de cei doi și care ei o resimt la nivel conștient prin acel ”plăcut”. După mine o relație autentică de iubire presupune și un fel de ”leap of fate” care de altfel face și diferența și care nu se poate baza pe factorul rațional. Încrederea construită poate duce în mod clar la afecțiune și apreciere dar iubirea autentică face parte în mod cert dintr-un alt registru, care este simțit cu o anumită parte a structurii noastre și care, pe lângă sentimentul imens de vulnerabilitate, ne aduce și o bucurie, o emoție imensă și o deschidere ce îmbrățișează, neputând fi niciodată altfel decât inclusivă, totală și luminoasă. Posesivitatea în mod cert poate face parte din registrul inițial, lucru firesc pentru că îți dorești unirea cu cel iubit, însă dacă acest lucru nu este posibil, din varii motive, furia și răzbunarea, tendința de  a produce durere și suferință celuilalt nu pot apărea, dorința ta fiind ca acesta să fie fericit, indiferent dacă aceasta se întâmplă împreună cu tine sau nu. Iar aceste aspecte, alături de multe altele cred că fac diferența dintre sentimentele reale și autentice și cele ”proclamate” pe toate drumurile de oameni, însă neexperimentate vreodată la nivel real.

–             Am remarcat că ai pomenit că Ileana era cumva conștientă în momentul acceptării inițierii curții din partea lui Făt-Frumos că el era sub valoarea ei, spuse bătrâna. Ce vrei să spui prin aceasta? Că la urma urmei nu este un concurs al demonstrării valorii, și după cum s-a văzut, în marea majoritate a timpului Ileana se simțea ”bine” cu el, în acea relație. La urma urmei acesta este rostul unei relații, nu?

–             După mine momentul acesta al începerii unei relații este extrem de important. Deși aparent lipsit de o semnificație deosebită, fiind de obicei foarte rapid, ca orice alt început, poate determina modul în care pleacă și chiar se desfășoară ulterior lucrurile. Poziția și rolurile acceptate de cei doi participanți la relație pot determina întreaga desfășurare a procesului ulterior ca și ramificațiile și posibilele rezultate sau situații intermediare. Să ne gândim la relația aparent simplă profesor-elev. Dacă cei doi nu își acceptă rolurile și nu le integrează pentru a putea avea atitudinile corecte și potrivite astfel încât să permită desfășurarea proceselor normale și naturale, de transmitere și explicare a informațiilor și cunoștințelor, nimic nu mai poate funcționa așa cum trebuie. Dacă elevul nu își acceptă condiția de ”inferioritate” și nu este deschis și dispus la ascultare și învățare, negând poziția profesorului, nevalidând-o, el nu va avea atitudinea și poziția care să îi permită însușirea și transmiterea cunoștințelor sau a deprinderilor, a obiectului ”învățării”. Tot astfel, dacă profesorul nu își însușește rolul său și devine mult prea intim sau familiar cu elevul, îl păsuiește sau îi permite să îl conteste, să îl ia peste picior sau alte atitudini neconforme rolului, iarăși procesul nu poate da rezultate. Și această ”poziționare” are loc de obicei chiar în acest început foarte scurt și rapid, deși aparent lipsit de importanță. De fapt toate relațiile care presupun o poziționare și un rol ca să poată funcționa au nevoie ca cei doi să accepte și să integreze rolul propriu care va genera adoptarea atitudinilor corecte și așteptate pentru ca procesul să poată continua. De obicei contextul ajută la generarea atitudinilor și la acceptarea rolului. Elevul își întâlnește profesorul în școală, cetățeanul funcționarul public în instituție, militarul pe gradat în cazarmă, șoferul pe polițist pe stradă, și tot așa. Toate aceste contexte întăresc rolul și exercită o presiune suplimentară, implicită, spre acceptarea acestuia de către participanți. Probleme majore apar în momentul în care aceste relații, care sunt tot de rol se întâmplă în afara contextelor standard și presiunea nu mai este resimțită la fel, sau atunci când nu este clar pentru participanții la relație că este tot un joc de rol, deși nu pare așa la prima vedere. Spre exemplu, atunci când un elev este un adult și întâlnește un profesor emerit care este un copil, la un meci de șah duminica la o petrecere onomastică, este foarte posibil ca adultul să realizeze destul de târziu și cu mare dificultate că el este de fapt elevul și că respectivul copil este profesorul, abia după ce pierde mai multe partide și își dă seama că de fapt copilul îl depășește ca valoare. Acum, dacă el este dispus să învețe va adopta rolul de elev, pentru că în contextul respectiv aceasta nu este o obligație, dar dacă s-ar întâlni la un club de șah, este posibil ca adultul să îi nege poziția din cauza părerilor sale preconcepute, care acționează ca un ”pat al lui Procust” și care îi pot induce senzația că un copil nu poate ”bate” sau ”da lecții” unui adult, lucru fals în foarte multe cazuri, inclusiv al șahului.

–             În mod similar, relația de ”cuplu”, deși aparent una lipsită de ”miză” este de fapt tot una de rol, dar cumva, din cauza prejudecăților sociale, este prezentată drept una ”în afara” rolului, fiind una ”emoțională”. Însă este evident că nu este așa din simplul motiv că cei doi nu sunt egali de la bun început în această relație, bărbatul fiind cel de la care se așteaptă în mod ”tradițional” să înceapă curtarea, adică să adopte un rol. Iar acest rol presupune ca el să solicite, să ceară, să se milogească de femeie pentru atenția sa și pentru acceptarea avansurilor sale sexuale. Așa cum se întâmplă și în lumea animalelor, la mamifere sau altele, femela are inițial o poziție privilegiată, de PUTERE, în care este pusă de nevoile și interesele masculului. Masculul este cel care se vulnerabilizează arătându-și interesul, solicitând de cele mai multe ori umil atenția și bunăvoința femelei, care îl poate respinge, provocându-i durere. Rostul curtării în Natură este chiar dovedirea de către mascul a valorii sale, prin întreg ritualul de curtare, momente în care femela poate să analizeze capacitățile fizice și psihice ale pretendentului la împerechere, reușind în acele momente, în mod instinctiv să vadă dacă respectivul are toate caracteristicile necesare pentru a da naștere unor urmași viabili și eventual dacă își va asuma rolul de părinte, cum este cazul celor care formează ”cupluri”. Și în cazul oamenilor la bază lucrurile stau tot așa, dar forma de prezentare socială în care femeia este prezentată ca un participant strict pasiv și oarecum dezinteresat la acest proces-ritual de curtare și eliminarea ipocrită și falsă a scopului acestora, care este de fapt împerecherea și copulația, dorită de ambele părți, generează ideea și senzația că femeia nu are nevoi sexuale și îi sunt destul de indiferente caracteristicile fizice ale bărbatului, acesta trebuind să fie ”un pic mai frumos decât dracul”. Însă se dovedește că în realitate acest ritual de curtare, care inițial pune femeia într-o poziție de putere, depinde foarte mult și de aceste caracteristici, care fac ca și masculul ”să fie plăcut”, astfel încât la acceptarea sa, femeia să își poată asuma în continuare rolul și să devină participant activ la relație, din toate palierele și nivelurile structurii sale. În schimb, în societatea umană ce se întâmplă? Femeia este ”învățată” că nu este nevoie să ”se simtă atrasă” de bărbat, că de fapt tot ce are ”nevoie” este să se asigure că acesta ”o iubește” și este dispus să aibă o relație de exclusivitate cu ea, procesul având să ”curgă” ulterior ”de la sine”. Și atunci femeile acceptă intrarea în relații care în loc să aibă la bază sentimentul lor interior că sunt plăcute și că la rândul lor ”îl plac” pe bărbat, lucru care îl pot verifica și ulterior, în cadrul procesului de curtare și nu numai, au la bază complet alte motivații, de la sentimentul de milă la cel de interes social. Neacceptarea poziției de egalitate prin conștientizarea propriilor nevoi sexuale și solicitarea exprimată către bărbat ca în schimbul disponibilității sexuale să fie ”iubite” adică să se accepte o relație de exclusivitate și care să meargă eventual până la ”căsătorie”  fac ca plecarea în relație să fie complet anacronică, cu femeia într-o poziție ilegitimă de putere și impunând ”iubirea” ca condiție a interacțiunilor sexuale, și cu bărbatul care simte că este ”forțat” și ”condiționat” pentru a oferi mult peste ce era dispus să ofere și în urma căruia se va simți și dator să mențină și să răspundă așteptărilor femeii care îi face ”o concesie” și se ”sacrifică” pentru a-i împlini lui nevoile sexuale.

–             În mod evident bărbatul va încerca ulterior să ”recalibreze” situația iar de cele mai multe ori va supracompensa, și, simțindu-se forțat și chiar ”păcălit”, pentru că vede că și femeia are nevoi și interese sexuale la fel ca și el, va căuta să obțină pentru el o situație de putere și astfel ”războiul sexelor” a pornit chiar din prima clipă, fără absolut nimic special ci din însăși poziționarea inițială a viitorilor parteneri. Revenind la cazul nostru, Ileana era conștientă că Făt-Frumos era sub valoarea ei pentru că ea nu se simțea atrasă de acesta, deci ea nu făcea ceva natural care să vină în mod firesc pentru acoperirea și împlinirea nevoilor ei reale pe care de altfel, deși le avea toată ziua în fața ochilor le nega și le și minimaliza importanța, în ochii ei important fiind la acel moment să ”fie iubită”, pentru că deja se ”lămurise” că oricum nu putea fi atrasă de nimeni la toate nivelurile și să se vulnerabilizeze astfel. Faptul că ea se simțea ”mai valoroasă” era real a fost confirmat și de prietenii lui Făt-Frumos și chiar de acesta în momentul în care a întrebat-o ”de ce este împreună cu el”, pentru că oricine, inclusiv ei, realizau că nu exista niciun motiv natural pentru care ar fi fost împreună, mai ales într-o relație în care ea să se dea peste cap să îi arate ”cât de mult îl iubește”. Faptul că lucrurile ”nu prea stăteau în picioare” și Făt-Frumos nu prea credea în ”demonstrațiile” ei de ”iubire și dedicație” sunt foarte normale deoarece fiecare dintre noi posedăm un ”bun simț instinctiv” care ne spune când ceva ”curge” natural și în firea lucrurilor și când este ”forțat”, deși nu avem întotdeauna argumente clare și demonstrabile pentru acest lucru, fapt care ne și confuzează adesea. Pentru că vocea noastră interioară ne spune una și rațiunea și logica minții alta, pentru că acestea se bazează pe faptele concrete, perceptibile, pe când interiorul pe o intuiție non-factuală, foarte fină și plăpândă, deși destul de clară și evidentă. Drept urmare, debutul relației este unul complet fals deoarece motivația care stă la baza plecării relației este ocultată și chiar negată. Ileana intră în relație datorită presiunii nevoilor ei sexuale pe care inițial nu le admite insistând pe latura ”iubirii” și atunci când primește ”confirmarea existenței sentimentelor” care de altfel este un alt fals, care s-a văzut și pe parcurs, când s-a dumirit chiar ea și mia ales după episodul întâlnirii cu zmeul, dă în sfârșit drumul laturii sexuale, evident hiperbolizate, polarizând complet relația și transformând-o într-un soi de goană continuă după senzații și plăcere sexuală, dar care nu o satisfac organic, ea neavând orgasm, ci egotic, prin hrănirea altor paliere ale structurii sale care nu aveau nicio treabă cu fizicalitatea sexuală. Cu alte cuvinte Ileana deși avea nevoie reale sexuale care ar fi trebuit împlinite de un partener de care să se simtă atrasă fizic în primul rând și care ”să o liniștească” a deschis o relație cu cineva care în mod clar nu putea să îi împlinească nevoile chiar și prin simplul motiv că ea nu se simțea ”îndreptățită” să își accepte rolul de femeie dominată de puterea bărbatului în relație, și deși a realizat că Făt-Frumos nu o putea surclasa sau domina nici intelectual sau din oricare alt punct de vedere, l-a luat aparent de milă. De fapt alegerea sa era rezultatul propriilor sale temeri și frici, ea în mod clar arogându-și în relație rolul dominator, de putere și control, știind că prin disponibilizarea sexuală și ceea ce era dispusă ”să îi ofere” avea să ”îl dea peste cap” și să îl ”fidelizeze pe vecie”, ceea ce s-a și întâmplat de altfel, pentru că într-adevăr l-a făcut dependent de ea, dar mai mult de latura sexuală decât de ea ca persoană, ratând astfel personalizarea relației. Sigur că aparent Făt-Frumos era disperat după ea, dar urmărind micile sale ”scăpări” ne dăm seama destul de clar că el nu o ”vedea” pe ea cu adevărat ci mai mult o ”imagine proprie”, pentru că în mod evident el nu se simțea confortabil cu ea ca persoană, simțindu-se dominat și extrem de departe de universul ei de preocupări, cu alte cuvinte nu simțea organic că se potrivește cu ea. Drept urmare, nici nivelul său de implicare nu era unul total și satisfăcător, fapt sesizat și de către ea, dar în mod clar orice comunicare reală era imposibilă pentru că revelarea adevărului ar fi dus instantaneu la ruperea relației, fapt nedorit încă de niciunul dintre ei, atâta vreme cât încă își mai împlineau nevoi de bază și neavând nici alternativă viabilă. Relația de dependență era deja clară, și, deși o simțeau cu toată ființa, prin faptul că lucrurile ”nu mergeau”, insistau în speranța că cumva, în mod magic lucrurile aveau să se rezolve de la sine și deși în mod real niciunul nu își mai dorea prezența în relație, aceasta mergea cu toată viteza ”înainte” în așteptarea ”micii buturugi” care să ”răstoarne marele car al minciunilor și ipocriziei”.

A star is born (S-a născut o stea 2018)

Încă mă mai scutur de rumegușul care m-a umplut în timpul vizionării acestui maraton interminabil de clișee stupide și viziuni idealiste de tipul sugar-opera pe care le credeam mai mult apanajul producțiilor nord-coreene pe care le prindeam uneori pe televiziunea națională, cu brigadierul erou care privea pierdut în zare sperând să mai capteze măcar un mic miros de la chiloții tovarășei ce se îndepărta agale, ținând sub braț coșul tradițional cu merinde. Ei bine, urâta Barbara Streisand de generație nouă, urâta Lady Gaga, reușește un rol în care behăitul solitar, împreună cu partenerul, în studio, pe toloacă, pe stadion, sub duș, în casa părintească, în casa conjugală, și așa mai departe face cam 80% din timp, lăsând în rest un generos interval în care ezitările, anacronismele, absurditățile și lipsa completă de realism să îmbrace sacrele clișee ale lumii moderne cu haina delicată și diafană a măreței idei centrale, care, bineînțeles este cea consacrată, și anume, cea de ”iubire”.

Iubire care de fapt este așa cum o știm, mincinoasă, vicleană, ascunsă, ipocrită și behăitoare, iar în unele momente de-a dreptul agresivă, violentă, așa cum îi stă bine unei adevărate iubiri care te ridică în sferele cerești.

Consacratul cântăreț de muzică country interpretat de Bradley, care, ocupat fiind și cu regia, mai scapă uneori niște note buclucașe, are cam tot ce ne spune sistemul că ar aduce fericirea. Stadioane întregi de mioare se calcă în picioare ca să îi soarbă behăielile numite pompos cântece, oraș după oraș i se închină, ca unui adevărat zeu al capitalismului. Bani, faimă, vigoare, inteligență, spirit, omul nostru are tot. Însă este în mod surprinzător mai mult o epavă psihică, alcoolic înveterat și avid consumator de droguri tari. De ce? Ei bine, aflăm destul de repede, atunci când o întâlnește pe EA, într-un decor Netflix (un bar de travestiți atât de deschiși, inteligenți, toleranți și cu umor, de ai zice că nu sunt oameni). Realizăm că toată situația se întâmplă din cauza absenței unicului și supremului ingredient care poate aglutina și genera acea vibrație particulară care ”schimbă” totul, și anume întâlnirea cu sufletul-pereche, care să aducă și Iubirea. Pentru că da, dacă dragoste nu e nimic nu e, așa că ne-am aștepta ca dedicația imediată, străduința și interesul pe care EA i-l acordă să ridice totul pe culmile unde ar trebui să fie, conform discursurilor oficiale și propagandei minunatului sistem ideologic.

Și într-adevăr, pentru scurt timp, cam acea perioadă ”de aur” de început, pe care orice cuplu o traversează, lucrurile par a fi așa cum ar trebui să fie. Ea își depășește continuu fricile și temerile pe care ceilalți le exploatau nemilos, realizând că parcă totuși e mai bine să fie în centrul atenției ca amantă a celebrului cântăreț decât o lucrătoare pe plantația intreprinderilor private nemiloase. Și cum tot timpul încerca să behăie câte ceva, îndrăgostitul divin, care trăia mai autentic decât Diogene o pune lângă el pe scena unde, normal, ”face senzație”.

Într-un mod aproape miraculos toată lumea, de la public la impresari și case de producție, trecând prin propriul său staff, nu doar că o acceptă, ci încearcă să o promoveze din răsputeri pe tânăra speranță care în scurt timp îl detronează de-a dreptul pe fostul rege, acum un amărât iubit, dependent de afecțiunea și atenția ei, dispus să accepte ieșirea din peisaj doar ca steaua ei să poată urca nestingherită. Și care într-adevăr urcă, devenind din ce în ce mai conformistă și ipocrită, până când, în cadrul unei minunate ceremonii oficiale simandicoase, în care toată lumea se adună să se admire și să se felicite reciproc pentru faptul că există, Bradley se scapă pe el, mort de beat fiind.

Moment în care EA consideră că e cam prea de tot și pune piciorul în prag, internându-l la dezalcoolizare și de- de toate, el ținându-se cu sfințenie de tot ce îi cer cei din jurul său. Se împacă chiar și cu fratele său mai mare, care îi era un fel de impresar și pe care îl ura-iubea în secret, căutând în el imaginea idealizată a răposatului lor tată, pe care îl pusese pe tronul binemeritat, de ”sfânt-tată”. Un complex comun la majoritatea fraților mai mici și care face zile fripte tuturora, cel puțin atâta vreme cât mititelul nostru artist crede încă că nefericirea i se datorează absenței unor chestii ”din exterior”, și care, iată, făcându-și apariția, ar fi trebuit să îl echilibreze și fericească, când na, situația de fapt devenise cu mult mai nasoală decât înainte. Misterul se adâncește pe măsură ce mititica, atunci când vine să îl scoată de la ”re-hab” îi cam dă de înțeles că chestiile alea cu dedicația totală și iubirea celestă sunt mai mult chestii care îl traversează pe el și că ea este un pic ocupată cu pomparea propriei cariere. Când zeul face fețe-fețe ea retractează speriată, surprinsă să realizeze că mesajele confuze care îi ies continuu din gurița scumpă erau dintr-o zonă care ”nu o dorea și nu o caracteriza” așa că behăielile tradiționale care le umplu sufletele de regretele ipocrite ce pornesc imediat îi furnizează prințesei noastre senzația că hopul a trecut și el a ”sărit” peste evidența pe care tocmai o prezentase vis a vis de intensitatea relației lor.

Însă el nu trecuse peste ci dimpotrivă, dar a înțeles să mai joace o mică perioadă rolul bărbatului care și-a găsit împlinirea, ca să o ”scoată”, așa că, după ce ea îl minte că va anula turneele din Europa ca să stea împreună, se închide în garajul care de fapt reprezintă ”altarul sacru al societății americane” unde se întâmplă toate chestiile adevărate, și acolo trece într-o lume ”mai bună”, lăsând pe toți contrariați și îndurerați, suficient încât să reia opintelile ipocrite ale minunatei noastre societăți, de această dată în registrul ”doamne, pe mine cui mă lăsași?….”

Și așa văduva acum putred de bogată, celebră, dar cu sufletul cernit, poate să reia urcușul spre vârfurile înzăpezite ale lumii, care îi va duce, dacă Domnul va vrea, împlinirea și fericirea pe care o merită cu prisosință, după atâta muncă.

 

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